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Leadership Observation. Don’t try to convince, teach or lead when someones emotion is in the wrong place.

When both parties are confident and motivated information flow is very easy. There is a lot of flexibility and trust.

Capitalize on these times and create a lot of forward momentum.

As leaders we need to recognize where our mentees stand. Where are they emotionally? Are they ready for information or do they need emotional support.

Through a rough childhood including many moves, homelessness and foster care sometimes it was emotional survival. There was not room to learn and thrive.

Through 33 years of martial arts training that was sometimes strict and bootcamp like I learned to be mentally strong and suck it up.

But as a leader this is not enough. We need to teach people what they need in order to move forward in their success. But, we need to recognize where they are emotionally and balance the information with building their spirit and confidence.

In June of this year I had a series of meetings with my team. I could do nothing wrong. The information flowed, the teamwork was powerful, the trust was strong and I felt like the leader I aspire to be.

Flash forward to last week and one of the worst meetings of my life. Why? how can interactions be so different? Here is my view.

My team just finished Summer Camp. 11 weeks of hyper focus, 12 hour days, no room for error. Keeping children safe, engaged, thriving, having fun and assuring their parents that they are in the right hands is mentally draining and leaves no room for error.

But life doesn’t stop. Just because we are busy and focused the toilet still stops up, family members still have their issues, the grass still needs to be cut, we still have to exercise and eat right and on an on and on.

But me I spent the last 11 weeks upgrading my class structure, improving my tipping and testing protocols, implementing better leadership training and better communication channels with our parents, I built a system for supporting our local schools and charities in their fundraising efforts, I built a new Inspire Martial Arts wellness program for companies to help their employees be healthier and more focused while lowering health care costs, I wrote a few more chapters in my book and made amazing progress on several other projects that will continue to help our organization stay relevant and on the cutting edge. I am fired up, confident, no real stress other than normal daily life.

Now what happens when these two very different worlds collide? Nothing good!

As a leader I must recognize when to add more gas to the fire and when to slow down and be patient.

When teaching children martial arts it does not serve them to just say “try harder”. If they are weak emotionally or not confident in themselves then our goal should be rapport. We need to build the relationship and then share the rules.

Kati and I went to see the movie Crazy Rich Asians. I loved and cried at least 10 times. The interesting thing was that during the movie we held hands, we looked at each other, we really felt the love and connection. The emotion for caring was aligned and after the movie it was really easy for both of us to admit areas of our relationship that could be better. During these times capitalize on the moment and create momentum.

We all want to move forward and CREATE OUR BEST LIFE!

Continue to visit the relationship, Continue to build trust, continue to exercise patience and continue to build your own confidence.

Bottom line choose MENTORS that are trustworthy, have your back, have a high level of character and walk the walk. And, mentors choose to TEACH PEOPLE that want to learn, apply the lessons, continue to fight and improve.

But most importantly build the REMBER THE BALANCE of emotion and confidence. Increase or decrease the speed accordingly.

With Love and Respect

MW